Sexual assault story
I was sexually abused by a so-called uncle who visited the house when my parent goes to work.
When I was about 5years old, my uncle would come to the house with a snack and tell me to have all of it, in return for him to touch my private part and insert his finger into my vagina.
He would bring a phone, show me some naked pictures, then ask me to undress while he take pictures of my private part.
I was a little girl and didn’t know what was wrong and right. I agreed to everything he asked me to do because I wasn’t taught by my parent or elders on sex education nor was I taught how to tell an older person when someone is about to touch me inappropriately nor scream for help.
My uncle would come in when no one is around, take me to a room and penetrate my vagina. I didn’t know what he was doing at that time. I became so fond of the uncle because he was sexually corrupting and abusing me which I thought was all part of a play.
After some time I stopped seeing him visiting the house, then I asked my mom about him and I was told that he had gotten married and had traveled to a different state.
What my uncle taught me, I started practicing it with other little boys living around me. I was never satisfied. I kept on repeating the same act with other boys without knowing they were wrong.
Until I got to 11years and started learning sex education and facing the truth about life. I then realized that what my uncle had taught me was never right at all.
That changed my personality a lot. My hatred for boys started growing from that moment and I swore never to have anything to do with any boy. Up till this day, I dislike boys a lot and I feel so scared going too close to them or letting any of them touch me, I feel irritated being touched by a boy.
My uncle spoilt me and deflower me at a tender age. Despite my ignorance about sex, he continuously does it with me anytime he sees me alone in the house.
How the situation changed
What my uncle did to me when I was little, changed my personality a whole lot. I became scared of boys, never let any come close to me nor touch me.
I can’t look at a boy straight in the eyes. My contempt for boys increases and I stop talking to boys.
Everything about me was so weird because I started seeing myself as a useless person that can’t achieve anything good and be free like other normal kids.
Later. After high school, I became attracted to a boy for the first time. He was a bit matured than I am, very nice and loving to me. I finally fell for him and we started dating. But, I never for a day told him what my uncle had done to me when I was little. We kissed and never had sex.
One day he tried to have sex with me which I agreed to it because I was already in college and it was a decision I made.
That fateful day, he came to my apartment as we planned then from watching a movie and talking, we started kissing. I was still flowing with the kiss, then he started caressing and trying to undress me, without knowing what was happening I started shivering, pushing him away and trying to make him stop.
He stopped for a while and asked what the problem was, I couldn’t say anything rather still shivering.
Later, I became calm and told him to continue but I began shaking again with fear and anger. At that moment, I realized that what my uncle had done to me when I was little, still affects me.
For years I couldn’t be in a relationship with a guy because I lived in my past which always hunt me down and destroy my relationship with them.
My advice to others
Many of us were the victim of sexual assault and abuse while we were kids and it keeps hunting us till today.
Living in the past will not only destroy our relationship but also destroy our joy.
My advice to others who have been in this similar situation or other kinds of abuse whether mentally, domestic, physical or emotionally is that, you are not alone.
You didn’t make any mistake and you didn’t ask for this to happen to you. Don’t bend on the past because it is poisonous and would only hunt you down. Move on with your life and allow yourself, welcome love, into your heart.
Life doesn’t end here, you will excel in greatness. Continue to do your best and forgive your past so it doesn’t hurt you always.
You are a survivor and survivor you will be.
Always tell your story
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Do not carry the burden alone
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Let your Burden out
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