Growth & Development


An introvert is often thought of as a quiet, reserved, and thoughtful individual. They don’t seek out special attention or social engagements, as these events can leave introverts feeling exhausted and drained.

It’s no doubt I’m an introverted person.

The thought of putting myself out there to find a new friend makes me want to dive (deeper beneath the covers for a night) in with movies.  I don’t rely on being around other people to get my energy.


There was a time in my life when I had tons of friends – back when I was in high school where I was surrounded by a gaggle of fun and outrageous people.  But over the last few years, I had watched as time and distance caused a number of those friendships to fade.

It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized the few friends I truly had left; It hit me one morning when I was watching a video on Instagram. There I sat trapped in my bedroom guarding against another harsh African weather while watching this wild group of friends running around sun-drenched Lagos. At first, I was nostalgic but a moment later, and with a pang of realization, it occurred to me that I could have that.

I have always had a hard time making friends. I have been an introvert my entire life and before college, I don’t consider myself to be a social person.  To say that I like to be alone is a bit of an understatement.  Yet, I like to believe that I’m a likable and fun person and I literally enjoy being around and inspired by other people, just in small doses.

Over the last few years, I’ve found that there are a few really good ways to make new friends while maintaining my introverted way.   And these few ways have really helped me a lot and made me break out of my shell.


How To Make Friends While Being An Introvert


Here are a few guidelines I have set for myself, and anyone else who is in a similar friendless boat.


1. Make Use Of Social Media 

Connect with friends online.   Social media is an easy place for we introvert to connect with friends. You can tweet people on Twitter, join some inspirational groups on Facebook and share your own experience. Follow people and pages on Instagram, share exciting videos, comments on people’s photos, and as well chat with them.

2. Take Your Hobbies Out

  I love to play basketball, which in itself is a gregarious activity.  I link up with my teammates for the game.   It’s not too much of a leap to take an activity that you already enjoy and do it in a more social setting.

3. Let The Right Ones In 

You do not have to make many friends be an interesting extrovert. You can stack the friendship deal with at least a few friends. Don’t look desperate for friendship, you desire much more.  Is there some small part of you that thinks you don’t desire to have meaningful friendships because you don’t think that you’re fun or interesting enough?  You have to shift your mindset from all that and let those that love you come close.



4. Meet Ups 

  Meet-Ups aren’t mostly about going on a date or attending parties. Meets Ups can be small and intimate and leave room for real friendship-making.  You can as well attend a conference, where you’ll get to meet few people you knew online or face to face and you can sign yourself up with those few friends.


Over to you, dear friend

 Can you relate to what I shared today? What do you find challenging about making friends and what has helped you connect?    Please do share your thoughts in the comments below!

Life musings by Nigerian lifestyle and relationship blogger Nuella Igwe focusing on creative entrepreneur, life tips, career, relationship, travel, blogging tips, beauty and skincare.


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