Growth & Development



One of the most giant steps I have taken in my life, which has undoubtedly helped me stay strong and face unforeseen challenges, is self-confidence.

While growing up, I would be scared of speaking in public or meeting people due to shyness and timidity. I rather communicate with people online than face to face.

It was annoying because I never got to do those things which I was good at and I ended up missing great opportunities.

Years later, I decided to come out of my shell and face my fears. I learned to believe in myself no matter the situation at hand. I struggle to stay strong and work it through including things that I couldn’t do in the past. This self-confidence has kept me going, on and on for years now, and till this moment I write.

Even when sometimes I began losing faith in myself and having the urge to give up on everything, something always pushes me to get up and continue fighting until the very end.  That thing is what I have brought to the table to share with you, and I am so glad I have the opportunity to share the inspirational secret with you.  I believe it will help you build your self-confidence in no time.

Here, I put together keys to help you walk through your self-confidence journey.

You must understand the following:-


What does self-confidence truly mean?

Why do people lose their self-confidence?

Why it is important to have self-confidence

How to boost your self-confidence



What is self-confidence?

Self-confidence simply means the inclination to believe in your power and judgment, irrespective of people’s perception of you or your fears.

One thing you should know is that self-confidence does not occur unexpectedly, it happens as a result of consistent practices and achievement which grow your confidence.

Everyone is not born with an inherent sense of self-confidence. Self-confidence is difficult to develop, especially when suffering from low self-esteem due to life experiences or influence.

Self-confident people are always dedicated and upright; they are risk-takers and are filled with positivism; they easily admit their mistakes and apologize for them.



Why do people lose self-confidence?

Self-confident people appear unstressed and free of anxiety with themselves and at work; they welcome reliance and infuse hope on others. Although. It’s difficult to be confident in oneself especially if you are mostly bent on doubting and criticizing yourself or if you let other people’s criticism weigh you down and bring self-inferiority.


Importance of self-confidence

The gain of self-confidence cannot be emphasized — you can benefit from it anytime and anywhere you find yourself, particularly at work, at home, and in your relationship.

There’s this feeling of belonging you acquire when you see yourself accomplishing what you have worked hard for, you would want to continue doing that thing and would never stop having confidence in yourself.  This sort of confidence guide you to face a difficult situation and fight back obstacles invading your success.

When you lack self-confidence, it produces annihilation of oneself which is unfavorable for mental well-being. Although, when you have self-confidence, it leads to optimism which is a favorable outcome.

Self-confidence can help you face your fears, as well as speak up in a public gathering.

Lack of self-confidence can only decrease your chance of getting into success and having your big win.

How can you boost your self-confidence?

You must be wondering how people come out in public places to speak for hours without fear or anxiety. Attaining self-confidence is not as hard as it looks, you can earn it when you set your goals toward achieving it and constant practice. Here, I have set up 10 tips or tricks to assist you in achieving and improving your self-confidence.


  1.   Accept your imperfections


Perfection has always been impossible and needless. Perfectionism is just an instrument to penetrate pain in someone. Seeking perfection will only make you hurt yourself continuously because everyone is never born without flaws. Instead of inflicting pain on yourself and causing more anguish, try to do your very best.

Self-confident people do not look for perfection, rather they find perfect in their imperfections. When you consistently try to look for perfection in your work, you are bound to fail. But when you accept your flaws and work towards achieving your goals through hard work and focus, more wins will come knocking right on your doorstep.


Note that if you are expecting perfection from yourself instead of acting, you will continue waiting because perfection is not for humans.

Take full responsibility for who you are (imperfect) and take action of the possibilities and opportunities around you to achieve your goal.


2.    Accept your Failures


Everyone is bound to fail, no matter who you are and what you do; even when you try hard to meet this success.

Failing is natural and nobody is above it. Sometimes you go the extra mile to please the people that you are seeking help from and they may give you hope that will make you continue coming to them. At some points, they will disappoint you and you will be broken. Don’t feel drained or disappointed when that happens, like I said earlier, be ready to accept failures or disapproval no matter the situation.

Know that, failure is a chance given to you to try other means and do better.

Failure is not a crime rather is it a war, it only helps you to improve in your capabilities and continue pushing for a greater result.

Don’t feel bad when things do not go well as planned and you consistently fail in everything you do.

Accept your failures wholeheartedly without shame, then put in focus and hard work to achieve your goals. The best thing a self-confident person does is, not feeling ashamed or angry from failing but standing strong and struggling to get back everything lost a hundred folds.

3.   Be Positive

There is this saying, “think positive so that positive thing will come your way”.

When your words and thoughts are full of optimism, there will be no self-doubt rather you will take action on the situation at hand. However, when negative talk and thoughts are coming from you, you will be welcoming and allowing self-doubt to inflict itself in you, and your confidence will be reduced.

If you keep on telling yourself that you can’t do a particular thing or you can’t handle your challenges or you just do not want to try at all because you are scared, then this is you accepting negativity in your life which is very bad.

Do you know those negative thoughts can make a person do something that is very unlawful like committing suicide, murder, engaging in sexual assault, or even robbing a mall or bank? Because self-doubt is depressing, and a depressed person always finds means to satisfy its pleasure either by killing himself or somebody else or doing something very bad to get satisfaction. Yet, they will never be satisfied.

Utilizing words of positivity goes a long way to helping you nurture self-empathy, fight disbelief, and take action of new challenges.

In case your subconscious mind starts playing puzzles with you that will make you remove from positivism to pessimism, do these little tricks which will help your positive thinking

  • When your mind tells you, you can’t do this or handle that – remind yourself that you can always pass through this or you can do this.
  • Rather than saying “I have social anxiety”, “I have stage fright” or “I hate speaking in public” – Fight it through, think positive. Tell yourself that you can speak in public, face your fears and go talk in public. You won’t lose your rib when you do so.
  • Don’t say you are shy- Say you are confident enough not to pass through your fears.
  • Don’t cuss yourself or say you are a failure – Say you are a success and you will always do your best to succeed.

No more negative comments running through you, rather be positive always.

Be your cheerleader and best friend!




If you have any questions or contributions or suggestions  

Please don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comment box below. 

You can as well meet me here if you want to connect with me. I love to connect with everyone. Let’s connect!



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Life musings by Nigerian lifestyle and relationship blogger Nuella Igwe focusing on creative entrepreneur, life tips, career, relationship, travel, blogging tips, beauty and skincare.

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