Growth & Development



Friendships can be some of our most upholding and delight_enticing relationships, but sometimes, friendships can degenerate into woes and regrets.

At some points, you may feel that you and a friend don’t connect anymore;  you begin to feel they’re treating you differently from other of their folks and are subtracting from your life more, than adding to it.

However, as you grow older, you think of a way to cut off from these unhealthy friendships. You become more confident in yourself as you age, and don’t spend your energy on friendships that just aren’t working.

Even if you’ve been friends for a long time, the kind of relationship (toxic) may not be the best thing for you right now. If you can’t count on these friends or feel you’re doing all the work to sustain the friendships, it’s okay to go with your guts and cut it off; after all, some friendships aren’t meant to last forever. See also:  EASY WAYS TO GET AWAY FROM DEPRESSION


How and when to tell it’s time to end your friendships


1.  They talk only about themselves

When the conversations you always have with these friends center on just them alone and you feel like the relationships are strictly one-sided; there’s a form of selfishness in the relationship. Your friends do not value you and care about your opinions but think about only themselves. Talk to your friends about their behavior towards you, and if they continue with the same attitude, it’s obvious they don’t want you in the friendship. Therefore, you should have a rethink and cut off from the friendship.

2. They’re highly negative and pessimistic

You speak highly of your friends and share their success but in your own turn, the reverse is the case. You get discouraged by your friends on following your dreams and achieving your goals, they bring you down every single time you have a conversation with them and make you feel worse about yourself. Take a good look at what is going on, your friends are pessimistic about you, and what they think or feel about you is highly negative. They make you feel worse instead of better or strong, you have to be reasonable to spend less time with them or take a break from them altogether.

3. They betray your trust

Trust, is very essential in all relationships. A friend is someone that is like a backbone to you, someone who can’t stab you in the back and keep your private conversations confident. If your friend always talks about you when you’re not there; your secrets are no longer hidden because your friends have divulged your conversations to another person. Your friends should come to you with their issues and not speak badly about you when you are not around.

4. They want you to be someone else

If your friends pressure you to do things you aren’t comfortable doing and as well, do not respect your own values and needs; it might be worth investing in some new friendships.


5. They are being manipulative

It’s really hard to put your finger on, whether or not it’s happening because, being the product of manipulation is like, being the proverbial frog in the slowly boiling water; it’s only after you’re out that you realize the full extent of what was happening. If you happen to be the one always doing the apologizing, or you feel like something is always off in your relationships and you have complained about the issues to your friends, but the result always makes you more confused. Then you are definitely being manipulated by your friends.

In general, there are friends for you and friends not for you. If your so-called friends continuously gossip with your name and make you feel low of yourself, it is clear, that your friend is not yours. End any friendship that makes you feel worse all the time. Those friendships are not healthy for you!



Life musings by Nigerian lifestyle and relationship blogger Nuella Igwe focusing on creative entrepreneur, life tips, career, relationship, travel, blogging tips, beauty and skincare.


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